Jealousy and I are old friends. We’ve known each other for most of my life, like ever since I can remember. We’re familiar with each other on a deep, soul moving level. We’ve been close at times and then there were long stretches, years, where we wouldn’t see each other. But, like all old friends, we’d run smack dab into each other and it was like no time had passed at all. And just like most good friends, jealousy has a lot to offer in terms of growth. In fact, one could say jealousy is a gift, a blessing in many ways. Granted, it’s a blessing disguised as a cranky old fucker that no one wants around cuz he’s super annoying and constantly pissing us off…
But seriously, jealousy provides us with information about ourselves. It can invite us to get curious about what needs may need tending to in our lives and/or relationships. It gives us the opportunity to ask ourselves what must be healed and restored. One of the most effective ways to process through jealousy is to practice discerning whether you’re responding to disloyalty from others or to your own lack of self regard and self worth. Either way, work on making sure you have a clear understanding of your boundaries and restoring them if necessary first. Once you’ve done that, then get curious about what you can do for yourself to build your self esteem and self worth. When you have strong boundaries and clarity around your priorities and values, you’ll be able to create a safe space for yourself to explore your wounds and heal them in a loving and compassionate way.
The really fucking magical thing about reframing jealousy as a gift is it reduces it’s hold on us. Simply bringing awareness to it brings our emotional levels down a notch or two and this alone can often be enough for us to stay a bit more balanced and centered instead of spiraling out of control. So, the next time you’re feeling some good ole jealousy I invite you to have a look at what that old friend is telling you. Listen closely with a curious mind and an open heart while being kind to yourself and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find the gift you’ve been searching for all this time.