These past few days I’ve felt paralyzed by perfection. I’ve been telling myself that I can’t, won’t or shouldn’t do “it” because it’s not exactly the way I need it to be…perfect. Whatever the fuck that means.
This can be a very dangerous place for me to be and frankly, it scares the hell out of me. I’m completely aware this is a coping mechanism for me because I’m not ready to process what’s really going on with me right now, which is a high level of insecurity, low self confidence and serious amounts of self doubt about my abilities, strengths and capacities.
I’m also completely aware this will pass, as it has done of the time up to now. But still, this is a very familiar place and the place where I feel most comfortable… small, incapable and a victim.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I believe it’s in our vulnerability that we connect the deepest and if there’s even the slightest chance that this resonates with you and helps you feel better in even any way then it is worth every moment of uncomfortableness.